{"id":217,"date":"2008-04-09T15:14:06","date_gmt":"2008-04-09T15:14:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/benimyuvam.com.tr\/?p=217"},"modified":"2008-04-09T15:14:06","modified_gmt":"2008-04-09T15:14:06","slug":"evinizde-kimin-sozu-geciyor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/benimyuvam.com.tr\/?p=217","title":{"rendered":"Evinizde kimin s\u00f6z\u00fc ge\u00e7iyor?…"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dedenin ön plana ç\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131 ataerkil<\/strong>, baban\u0131n söz sahibi oldu\u011fu babaerkil<\/strong> ve anne merkezli anaerkil<\/strong> aileden sonra \u015fimdi de çocuklar\u0131n hakim oldu\u011fu çocukerkil <\/strong>aile tipi ortaya ç\u0131kt\u0131.<\/p>\n

En sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 aile tipinin babaerkil oldu\u011funu belirten psikologlar, çocukerkil ailelerin genellikle tek ya da iki çocuklularda ortaya ç\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 söylüyor. <\/p>\n

Psikolog Fatih Kalk\u0131nç, "Çocuk merkezli aileler sa\u011fduyudan uzakt\u0131r. Bu ailelerde yeti\u015fen çocuklar ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131 oluyor. Evde otorite elinde olan çocukta, ciddi anlamda cinsel kimlik geli\u015fimi olmuyor. Zevkine ve rahat\u0131na dü\u015fkün hale geliyor. E\u011fer anne ön planda olursa, erkek çocukta erkeksi duygular çok geli\u015fmiyor." dedi. <\/p>\n

"Tektir", "biriciktir" mant\u0131\u011f\u0131yla yeti\u015fen çocuklar\u0131n bir süre sonra ailesine her istedi\u011fini yapt\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ifade eden psikolog Orhan Keskin ise payla\u015fmay\u0131 sevmeyen bu çocuklar\u0131n bencil oldu\u011funu, blöf ve \u015fantajla istediklerini önce ailelerine, daha sonra da topluma yapt\u0131rmak istediklerini belirtti. <\/p>\n

Çocukerkil ailelerde anne ve baban\u0131n kimliklerini net bir \u015fekilde ortaya koymas\u0131 gerekti\u011fini ifade eden psikolog Kalk\u0131nç, çocuk merkezli aile olmaktansa anne baba merkezli aile olman\u0131n tercih edilmesi gerekti\u011fini vurgulad\u0131. Kalk\u0131nç, belirli ölçülerde disiplin kurallar\u0131 olmas\u0131 gerekti\u011fini, aksi takdirde disiplinsiz yeti\u015fen çocuklar\u0131n ilerleyen ya\u015flarda toplumun ba\u015f\u0131na dert oldu\u011funu söyledi. Evde otoritenin mutlaka babada olmas\u0131 gerekti\u011finin alt\u0131n\u0131 çizen Kalk\u0131nç, "Anne ve baba, bu kimliklerini ön plana ç\u0131karmal\u0131 ve çocuklar\u0131na öyle davranmal\u0131. Evde otorite belli olmal\u0131 ve kesinlikle çocukta olmamal\u0131. Mümkünse babada bulunmal\u0131." \u015feklinde konu\u015ftu. <\/p>\n

Geçmi\u015f y\u0131llarda çocukerkil ailelerin fazla görülmemesinde en büyük etken olarak ailenin kalabal\u0131k olmas\u0131n\u0131 gösteren psikolog Keskin, dört be\u015f çocuklu ailelerde ister istemez otoritenin babada oldu\u011funu ifade etti. Kat\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 seminerlerde yüzde 40-50 oran\u0131nda tek çocuk sahibi insanlar\u0131n a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131kta oldu\u011funa dikkat çeken Keskin, tek çocu\u011fun birçok yönden riskleri bulundu\u011funu kaydetti. Bunlar\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131nda çocu\u011fun payla\u015fmay\u0131 ö\u011frenmemesi ve ya\u015f\u0131tlar\u0131yla beraber oyun oynamada s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131 çekmesi geliyor. Bunun sebebinin ailenin çocu\u011funu çok \u015f\u0131martmas\u0131 oldu\u011funu belirten Keskin, "Çünkü özeldir, biriciktir. Böyle olunca çocuk ister istemez bencil yeti\u015fiyor. Bencil çocuk, ben merkezli olur. Bunlar\u0131 yaparken, evin tek çocu\u011fu oldu\u011funun fark\u0131ndad\u0131r. Aile isteklerine s\u0131n\u0131r koymazsa, bunlar ileride tavizlere dönü\u015für. \u015eantajla isteklerinin kar\u015f\u0131lanmas\u0131n\u0131 sa\u011flar. Mesela, ‘Bu iste\u011fimi yapmazsan\u0131z yemek yemem ya da okula gitmem der. Böyle olunca aileyi çocuk yönlendirir." dedi. Benzer durumlar\u0131n iki çocuklu ailelerde de gözlenebildi\u011fini söyleyen Orhan Keskin, ailelerin çocuklar\u0131n\u0131 a\u015f\u0131r\u0131 derece serbest b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, bu durumda da çocu\u011fun bencil yeti\u015fti\u011fini kaydetti. Her iki durumda da toplum ad\u0131na kayg\u0131 verici insan tipleri yeti\u015fti\u011fini belirten Keskin, "Ne diyor aileler, ‘Çocuktur, gençtir. \u0130stedi\u011fi gibi oynas\u0131n, diledi\u011fi gibi davrans\u0131n. Bu defa çocuk, küçük bir özgürlü\u011fü k\u0131s\u0131tland\u0131\u011f\u0131 zaman olaylar patlamaya ba\u015fl\u0131yor. Özellikle gençlik döneminde ailesine, ‘evi terk ediyorum diyebiliyor. Bu durumda aile ‘sen gidince biz biteriz gibi sözler sarf ederse çocuk bunu da koz olarak kullanmaya ba\u015fl\u0131yor." \u015feklinde konu\u015ftu. Bu tarz davran\u0131\u015flarda çocuklar\u0131n belirli ya\u015flara geldi\u011finde sistemden kolayl\u0131kla ç\u0131kabildi\u011fini ifade eden Keskin, "Aile hatas\u0131n\u0131 anl\u0131yor; ancak hatas\u0131n\u0131 bir anda kesmeye kalk\u0131\u015f\u0131nca da birçok ar\u0131zalar ç\u0131k\u0131yor. Bunun için üç ya\u015f\u0131ndan itibaren önlem almak gerekiyor. Çocuk belirli \u015feyleri ö\u011frenmeye ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, bunlar\u0131 kontrollü bir \u015fekilde anlatarak, otoriteyi elden b\u0131rakmadan sevgi dolu bir yakla\u015f\u0131mla büyütmek gerekiyor." dedi. <\/p>\n

Psikologlar\u0131n sözlerine kat\u0131lan Ahmet Ak\u0131n isimli vatanda\u015f, uzun y\u0131llar çocuklar\u0131 olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, olunca da adeta üzerine titrediklerini söylüyor. Biricik o\u011fullar\u0131n\u0131n üzerine fazla titremenin baba ve anne olarak otoritelerini sarst\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 daha sonraki y\u0131llarda fark ettiklerini belirten Ak\u0131n, \u015fimdilerde çocuklar\u0131n\u0131n sayg\u0131s\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131na çare olabilecek önlemler almak için çabalad\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131, ancak birçok \u015feyin geçti\u011fini gördüklerini anlat\u0131yor. Aile bask\u0131s\u0131 alt\u0131nda, çok çocuklu bir ailenin dördüncü çocu\u011fu olarak yeti\u015fti\u011fini aktaran Fatma Günay ise \u0130yi niyetini çocuklar\u0131n\u0131n bilerek ya da bilmeyerek suistimal etti\u011fini vurgulayarak çocuklar\u0131n\u0131n a\u015f\u0131r\u0131 yaramaz olduklar\u0131 için insanlar\u0131n rahats\u0131zl\u0131k duydu\u011funu söylüyor. <\/p>\n

Bu çocuklar neler yap\u0131yor? <\/p>\n

Zaman zaman okula gitmeye biliyor. <\/p>\n

Notlar\u0131 di\u011fer ö\u011frencilere göre çok dü\u015fük oluyor. <\/p>\n

Madde kullan\u0131m\u0131 s\u0131kl\u0131kla görülüyor. <\/p>\n

Arkada\u015f\u0131mda kalaca\u011f\u0131m diye eve u\u011fram\u0131yor. <\/p>\n

Farkl\u0131 ortamlara çok rahat tak\u0131labiliyor. <\/p>\n

\u0130stedi\u011fi zaman eve geç saatlerde dönüyor. <\/p>\n

Anne ve babaya kar\u015f\u0131 sayg\u0131s\u0131zl\u0131kta bulunmaktan çekinmiyor.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dedenin ön plana ç\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131 ataerkil, baban\u0131n söz sahibi oldu\u011fu babaerkil ve anne merkezli anaerkil aileden sonra \u015fimdi de çocuklar\u0131n hakim […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":218,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[353,549,458,354,476,550,465,370,355,466,553,364,376,447,446,363,545,418,464,445,546,374,499,375,401,461,402,403,454,493,419],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-217","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-aile-aile","category-aile-ici-iletisim","category-aile-ve-calisma-hayati","category-anne-baba","category-anne-baba-egitimi","category-anne-cocuk","category-anne-cocuk-iliskisi","category-arkadaslik-iliskileri-genc-ergen","category-baba-cocuk","category-baba-cocuk-iliskisi","category-cocuk-egitimi-cocuk","category-cocuk-egitimi","category-cocuk-gelisimi","category-cocuk-psikolojisi","category-cocukla-iletisim","category-cocuklarda-farkindalik","category-cocuklarda-inatcilik","category-cocuklarda-israrcilik","category-cocuklarda-odul-ceza","category-cocukta-disiplin","category-cocukta-yalan","category-ergenlik-donemi","category-genc-ergen-iliskileri","category-genc-ergen-psikolojisi","category-koruyucu-aile","category-kural-koymak","category-kural-ve-sinir-koyma","category-kural-ve-sinir-koyma-genc-ergen","category-super-anne","category-super-baba","category-super-cocuk"],"yoast_head":"\r\nEvinizde kimin s\u00f6z\u00fc ge\u00e7iyor?... - Bloggerlar Birle\u015fiyor<\/title>\r\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\r\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/benimyuvam.com.tr\/?p=217\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"tr_TR\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Evinizde kimin s\u00f6z\u00fc ge\u00e7iyor?... - Bloggerlar Birle\u015fiyor\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Dedenin ön plana ç\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131 ataerkil, baban\u0131n söz sahibi oldu\u011fu babaerkil ve anne merkezli anaerkil aileden sonra \u015fimdi de çocuklar\u0131n hakim […]\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/benimyuvam.com.tr\/?p=217\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Bloggerlar Birle\u015fiyor\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2008-04-09T15:14:06+00:00\" \/>\r\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Sizden Gelenler\" \/>\r\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\r\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Yazan:\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Sizden Gelenler\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Tahmini okuma s\u00fcresi\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 dakika\" \/>\r\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/benimyuvam.com.tr\\\/?p=217#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/benimyuvam.com.tr\\\/?p=217\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Sizden Gelenler\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/benimyuvam.com.tr\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/bc50214160b27cd219317bf704009a5a\"},\"headline\":\"Evinizde kimin s\u00f6z\u00fc ge\u00e7iyor?…\",\"datePublished\":\"2008-04-09T15:14:06+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/benimyuvam.com.tr\\\/?p=217\"},\"wordCount\":996,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/benimyuvam.com.tr\\\/?p=217#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/benimyuvam.com.tr\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/BY148_evdekimininsozugecer.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Aile\",\"Aile \u0130\u00e7i \u0130leti\u015fim\",\"Aile ve \u00c7al\u0131\u015fma Hayat\u0131\",\"Anne - 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